tucson's best...

movie with emily and sam

bunked our beds!!!! so much more room now!

went to dinner with the hall girls!

rice krispies with the neighbors!

hot chocolate with andrea!

homework :(

bed...

that is what my saturday has consisted of!  

tomorrow is church...for some reason i am really excited to go!  i'm loving my new church in tuc-son!

coming home in 6 days! and that might be the greatest news of my life...

oh and i bought a new pair of toms!  (republican ones) tomsshoes.com - go there!

Busy?! What?!

I realized that I am horrible about updating this blog!  so I apologize for that.  Nothing has changed at U of A.  I am still busier than ever!!  I am in 2 political clubs, 3 Christian clubs and I play on an intramural kickball team which is the bomb!  All of that plus 15 credit hours...it is definitely overwhelming sometimes.  So, I have decided that I need to take a step back from it all.  Although I am busy, busy, busy, I am not necessarily happy and thats not how it should be.  I want to make sure that everything that I believe in and everything that I hold true in my life, really is truth.  I am embarking on a journey of self-discovery (kind of cliche I know!) but I think in the long run, it will be for the better.  Like I said in my last post, everything in college is intended to break you.  It's tiring but I am trying my hardest to cling to the cross.  

this weekend is parent's weekend which i am so happy about.  my stepmom is coming down and maybe my niece (i sure hope so!  i love that child).  My dad is in Louisville, Kentucky until Thanksgiving since he is working on the hurricane damage that hit the gulf.  I love my dad!  Even though he has to be away from his family for so long, he knows that there are SO many people that need his help.  That is a servant's attitude for sure!  

I love everyone that keeps sending me emails and texts throughout the week!  That is literally how I get through each day.  Keep em' coming!  

Oh and my new favorite song: The Stand by Hillsong United

"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned"  

Vice Presidential Debate Tonight...hopefully Sarah Palin smokes Biden (cross your fingers!!)

ugghhh

i hate that the purpose of college is to break you of everything that you believe in.  

is it possible to be in God will's but feel so far from it?  cause thats how i feel right now and its annoying...

college is busy.  i dont think i could join one more club or be involved in anymore activities...i might die!

war and peace?!

I am beginning to write my 8 page paper on my response to George W. Bush's address to Congress and to the American people on September 20, 2001.  I am detailing how he justified the war and if I agree with what is going on in Afghanistan (not Iraq, just Afghanistan)

but here is the problem...

i decided to read this book  

and it totally threw everything that I ever believed about war out the window.  

Romans 12:21 - "Do not be overcome by evil, instead overcome evil with good." 

Psalm 11:15 - "The Lord examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence his soul hates."  

I believe the love of Christians and the love of our AMAZING God can change the hearts of anyone!  Why don't we let Him try?  

tonight!!

Going to this tonight!

Because I am in love with these people

McCain/Palin 08'

my apologies!!

I apologize about my second to last blog...i miss these boys a lot too!!  I couldn't find a picture of them at the time but now I did.  I love you boys!  

honors?!

i am sitting in my honors class and critically thinking about new media.  who would have known that you could think critically about media.  i am in a class with ridiculously smart people who don't use words less than 10 letters long.  lets just say that i don't exactly fit in.  

so i sit on my computer and attempt to understand my peers intense conversations.  right now we are looking at some random girls myspace....creepy!!!

oh and i have to read the book above...should be interesting...

Home is where the heart is....

I MISS THESE PEOPLE MORE THAN THEY KNOW!!!

Football, Food, Posada San Pedro

Well this week has been pretty eventful so far.  The roomie and I never go to bed earlier than 2 am in the morning.  I guess thats just how the college life is.  The flip side of that is that we wake up at about 12 pm.  Its great!  We had our first football game on Saturday.  As our team is about to kick off they call a delay of game because there was lightning.  As faithful Zona Zoo members, we stayed while it rained for an hour!  We were drenched but finally they started the game.  We won 70-0!  it was a complete blowout!  

Our air conditioning broke in our dorm so we spent a lot of time in Posada San Pedro which is the Honors dorm across the street.  My friends Aubri and Emily live there so we have literally spent every night there.  It is so much fun!  They bake all the time so I am definitely gaining weight here.  All we do is eat but I love it!  

I'm staying super busy with homework, class, and all the clubs that i want to join.  They all meet on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so its super hard.  but looks like I will be a little college Republican!  can't wait for that!  

until later! 

Tori 

One week down....A LOT to go!

well I have officially made it a week in Tucson.  I feel like I have lived down here forever!  it is so crazy.  this whole experience has been so different then I thought it would be.  I wanted to be so open to new things and get involved in a lot of different activities and so far i love it!  I have met some really cool people and some pretty crazy ones too!  

the week has been filled with classes, a lot of homework, hanging out with the boys, being "anti-social," and eating an enormous amount of food.  basically me and the roomie never come out of our dorm unless it is for food.  :)  

I have gone to Christian Challenge twice in the past week and I went to church at First Southern Baptist Church Tucson on Sunday.  I really liked it but it is so different from Cornerstone which is a nice thing.  i am going to a church called Second Mile on Sunday night.  check it out it is an amazing church!! www.secondmi.org 

the freedoms that i have experienced here are none like i have ever had before.  its a weird feeling to know that you are really in control of your whole life and no one can tell you what to do.  but with freedom comes responsibility!  i have been learning time management and trying to balance my schedule.  

the temptations here are also insane!  I mean when I left Tempe I was like "Satan, bring on the temptations" and boy is he bringing them.  People are drinking every night and going to frat parties all the time.  It is so hard to resist the temptations but so far so good.  Right now I am sitting in my dorm room by myself because the roomie is off at a party.  She is super respectful about me not wanting to drink and stuff which I am so thankful for but it still isn't easy.  I hate sitting here by myself but I know that this is where I should be.  I made it through four years of high school without ever going to a party or ever getting drunk and I intend to keep it that way at U of A.  I feel this overwhelming responsibility for my roommates salvation.  I know that I cannot save her but I am constantly aware of the way that she is looking at me because I want her to see Jesus through me.  If I go out and do the same things that she does, that doesn't set a very good example of what Christians should really act like.  I don't know how to describe this feeling but I feel like I want to cry but not really.  I don't know its weird.  I miss everyone from home so much.  They were my rocks; people that I could stand by when things got rough and I don't have anyone like that down here.  I am by myself to take on the world and that is a ridiculous feeling.  But thankfully, God is teaching me so much.  My quiet times have been amazing!  its weird because i don't feel obligated to read my Bible in the morning, I just do it.  I am constantly being reminded of how I am suppose to live my life as a follower of Christ.  I never want to be just a believer or lukewarm or anything like that.  I want to be a good and faithful servant and that is the bottom line.  I have also been having some amazing conversations with some amazing people from home; Chris especially.  He inspires me by his devotion to Christ and we have been getting really deep into what it means to follow the whole Bible; not just the parts that are comfortable.  Our hearts desires are to be uncomfortable and God is constantly putting us in situations where we have to be.  

I had a really cool experience on Wednesday afternoon.  I signed up for a class called Global Economics and Management because I needed one extra credit hour.  So I get to class and there is about 20 people there.  My professor stands up and says that he changed the course but it never got changed in the registration system.  So now I am taking Global Hunger and Poverty which is so cool.  With everything that has happened in the last 2 months, I couldn't be in a better class.  Everyday I feel like I want to be apart of the solution to global poverty.  So many people talk about it but no one ever does anything about it.  Oh and my professor is a devout Christian and he said his faith defines him so he is going to incorporate Christianity into our course.  God definitely blessed me!  I can't wait for the stuff that I am going to learn!  

I look forward to everything that U of A is going to bring.  Next week I am doing Christian Challenge and Campus Crusade!  I can't wait!  

(and to Kev - I promise I will be better about updating this! don't you worry your little head)

Destination: Tucson

As I prepare to make the journey down to Tucson today I look back at the past year and wonder how I got to this place.  So many people have asked me "Why U of A?" "What made you want to go there?"  To be completely honest, I have no idea!  I have seen God at work for sure over this past year and I have finally hopped on board with his plan!

Last summer, U of A was not even on my radar.  I never planned on going there and I never really wanted to.  Not because I don't like U of A but because I never really thought that I would go there.  I was convinced that Colorado College would be my home but that definitely did not work out.  ($36,000 a year. I don't think so!)  My dad came home and told me that he thought I should apply to U of A because he heard it was a good school and it would just be a back up if my other schools did not work out.  I thought nothing of it because I didn't think it would ever happen.  If Colorado College wasn't for me, I knew that the University of Tennessee would be.  But God is funny and that didn't work out either.  (How in the world do I not qualify for financial aid?)  So everyday it seemed like ASU or U of A would be where I ended up.  If it came down to the two, ASU was for me.  My blood ran maroon and gold.  It was close to family, I could stay at Cornerstone and I wouldn't have to leave any of my friends.  When it came down to it, my financial aid was better at U of A and overall it really is a better school. (no offense to anyone that goes to ASU)  

Everything fell into place and my parents decided, with little help from me, that U of A would be where I spent the next four years of my life.  At first I was excited but then the reality of it really hit me.  My world was about to be turned upside down.  I hate everything about change, so this whole U of A thing was so not going to work out.  I cried about it a lot but my parents wouldn't sway in their decision because they knew it was what was best for me.  

I accepted the admission to the University of Arizona and I was officially apart of the class of 2012.  I went to orientation and was so mad that I was going there my parents started to get upset.  They started to worry about me because they knew I wasn't happy.  I had come to the conclusion that even if this was God's plan for me, I didn't want to have any part in it.  I would rather go against the will of God than go down to Tucson.  I mean there is nothing there!  

As the summer went on, I started reading  A LOT!  Irresistible Revolution, Jesus for President, Mere Christianity, Screwtape Letters, Soul Cravings, Cold Tangerines.  My view on everything in this world changed drastically.  As I began to read God's Word it was so evident to me that this life is not about me; it was never about me and it never will be.  I exist to bring honor and glory to my heavenly Father.  If I am going to call my self a follower of Christ, then I need to follow.  If that means moving to Tucson and shining my light to my peers then that means moving to Tucson.  If I expect to live in unity with Christ, then I can only be in His will.  As I began to pray about God's will for my life, it became so clear to me that what was once my parents choice was really His will.  My attitude has really changed towards Tucson, it hasn't gotten any easier thinking about leaving everything that I know, but the joy that comes with following Christ is much greater.  2 Corinthians 12:9 has constantly been on my mind.  "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  I am excited that God is giving me a second chance to shine for Him.  I am excited that He has found me worthy is go.  I am excited that I will no longer be in Jerusalem but that I am moving on to Judea (Acts 1:8).  I am excited to show my roommate how amazing Christ's love is.   

This is a wild journey but I will keep you all updated.  To those who I leave, it's more of a see ya later than a good-bye!  (Breanna reminded me of that).  

Everyday I remember the truths of Galatians 2:20.  Please pray that Christ lives and shines through me.  

I love you all more than you know!

September 12th - my first trip home because I will be apart of Keira's welcoming committee!  

Wow a Whole Month!

It has literally been like a month since I have blogged last...sure doesn't seem that long.

Well, life has been crazy! I got done nannying a few weeks ago because the kids went back to school. Honestly, this job was a totaly gift from God. Every chance I got, I took my kids to get "free ice cream" from the church and it sparked some amazing conversations! They asked questions about God and we got to talk about how important it is to have a relationship with Jesus. We even had a whole day devoted to watching VeggieTales which my kids asked to do. I loved it! I hope that all of our conversation sparks some interest in them to search deeper for God. We will see!

I have spent the last few weeks working like crazy! The cafe has seen my pretty face almost everyday. But, it has given me a lot of time to read. Right now I am reading "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis. Amazing! thats all I have to say. It is so eye opening to the evil side of the good vs. evil battle.

I had a "going away" party last Saturday at my house and it was a lot of fun. We ate some good food, played guitar hero, swam and watched a UFC fight on HBO. Yep I like cage fighting. I realized how much I love my friends and how much I am going to miss them.

This Sunday is my last Sunday teaching my precious 4 year olds. I don't think that words could ever describe how much I love those kids. They are my life. It has been such a journey seeing all of them grow a little bit and see them start to understand how much God loves them. I am blessed and feel so honored to be apart of that. I am definitely going to get involved with children's ministry in Tucson .

It is officially 7 days til I move to Tucson. Part of me is so ready; the emotional and spiritual side. As far as all of my stuff, it is definitely NOT ready. I still have packing to do and general straightening up of my room. I know that it will get done though so I am not stressing about it. I am going to miss everyone so much but I have to keep reminding myself that this life isn't about me. It's about spreading the gospel and being lights for this world. God never asked me to be comfortable where I am at. He wants me to be uncomfortable so that I truly rely on Him. I am looking forward to that journey. Thank you to everyone who has been such an encouragement to me and to everyone who has been praying for me.

I will be better about updating this blog when I get down to Tucson and start school so don't any of you worry!

ROOOMIE!

I found out my roommate for U of A yesterday. It took us a day to find each other on facebook but don't you worry we finally did.
She seems really cool and she went to Hamilton! Who would have known that we would be from around the same place?
I am super excited to get to know her and plan all our fun in Tucson!
We are having coffee probably on Thursday.
Can't wait!!

i have been crazy busy nannying my precious little children this whole week. they are not really little but i love saying that they are.

we have been doing a lot of stuff....sunsplash yesterday and according to Keira i look like a lobster. oh well! I am super tan so that is ok.

I have been learning so much from my quiet times and I will fill you all in asap.

love to all!

CRAZY LIFE!

My life has been crazy since the last time that I posted. Here is a quick overview of what has happened.

• big party at my house on Saturday night where a bunch of people came over and we watched a UFC fight on HBO. It was a lot of fun and people that came were pretty hilarious. I don't need to go into much detail.
• Church on Sunday. Teaching little kids about Noah's ark. Merge. Amazing sermon by Nathan. Don't abuse Grace! Barro's pizza. Maples house. More teaching. Making cookies for Momma Keira with Lindsey and Tamara. Almost getting eaten by wild coyotes. Yep that really happened!
• nannying. making dog treats. jared's birthday dinner with Tamara and the Maples.
• nannying some more. the Mine (Praise God!). amazing talk with Kevin!
• finally some sleep

Life has been crazy these last couple of days but keeping busy is good. I have been learning so much and really growing closer to the Lord. He is convicting my heart like crazy. I just want to live out those convictions!

1 1/2 months til U of A and I am so ready!

100 days til Keira comes home. Everyday it gets better and everyday I am more amazed at how God is working through her.

Recommended reading: Crazy Love by Francis Chan (don't read if you don't want to be convicted!)

Love and hopefully a whole lot of peace!

blah

I am filled with extreme joy and sadness at the same time. it's crazy.
I can see the Lord working all around me and it gets me so excited.
I do not know what the next few months will bring but I am on board for whatever happens!

I'm off to camber. Praise God! because i really need some church right now.

love you all!

Thanks Mr. Swirves-alot for taking me to the Hayden Outdoor Recreational Slides

I cannot believe that it has been almost a week since Keira and I have been home from California.

We left last Saturday, bright and early, and drove to Huntington Beach. When we got there we ate at BJ's. It was a crazy time. I have never seen so many half naked people and have never heard so many F-bombs in my entire life. It was totally awkward because Keira and I prayed before our meal and I was wearing my Honesty Purity Integrity shirt from Hume Lake. We went to her Grandma's (which i love!) and swam in her pool. Oh one-piece bathing suits, crack on our legs and horrible tan lines. Best thing of my life.

On Sunday, we drove up to Simi Valley to see Francis Chan preach at Cornerstone Community Church. I cannot even begin to describe the experience. For the last couple of months crazy things have been going on at church. Pastors leaving, new pastors coming, giving away a car, getting an ice cream machine. Some of it I just can't take. It was refreshing to go to a church with no production and hear a message that convicted my heart so much that I cried. We talked about honesty and how so many of our lives are wrapped up in lies that we have told ourselves in an attempt to make ourselves feel better. We spent probably 80% of the time in prayer because Francis Chan knew that nothing he could say would change our hearts. Only God can do that. We saw two people get baptized after Francis' message and at the end of the service he went up to meet him and he prayed for Keira as she travels to Africa to do mission work.
As I try to tune my life into the will of God, I see Him working all around me. I am in awe at the fact that God never quits pursuing our hearts. He desires for us to be in complete unity with Him, and I am trying more and more each day to understand and follow God's plan for my life. I know that I am nothing without Him, I have no purpose outside of His will and although it is hard, I so desperately want to live a life completely devoted to him.

On the way home from Simi Valley, Keira and I sang ALOT of worship songs off-key and listened to some other sermons by Francis Chan. I started reading his book, Crazy Love, which I highly recommend! I am glad that we got to experience this journey before she left for Africa.

Honk if you love Jesus, Cause We Do!

Butt pictures and scalp picking

I am not even going to begin to explain the title of this blog because it would take so long to explain why this describes Katie Sterbenz and I really do not feel like doing that.

Hume lake was so amazing with her! Although, she is slightly abusive. Over a week she kneed me in my freshly pierced ears and made me bleed and she kicked me in the throat and made me collapse. But I guess I can endure the abuse because I would never give up our friendship.

I have never met anyone that would eat Mexican food five times a week with me. She is obsessed with bean burritos and I am obsessed with bean chimis. it is like a match made in heaven!

It is crazy to think that this time last year, I met her. It was a lovely Monday morning at the cafe and she was "training" me how to work there. Gotta love the cafe! We worked Thursdays together and then Saturdays and I loved every minute of it. We complained ALOT about how bored we were and ate a lot of Einstein's bagels. We talked about boyfriends and high school drama, God and Merge and she introduced me to Breanna Maples and I have fallen in love with that family.

I don't know what I am going to do without seeing her all the time next year. if she would just invite me over for dinner ASAP we might be able to be SNL. (anyone other than Katie don't try to understand that last sentence. Only she knows what I am talking about)

I love you SGL!

Alligators at my front door drinking hot chocolate

This last week has been one of the greatest of my life. it sounds so cliche but it is so true. Hume Lake 08 was amazing!

It was so different from any other camp I have been to. At all the others, I have cried atleast once if not more. Last week I didn't cry at all. We learned about theology which is almost emotionless. As a group we discovered who God is, why Christ had to die for us, and how important it is to live in community. I feel equipped to go tell the whole world. I'm not afraid because this is eternity we are talking about.

I met some amazing people and so many of my relationships grew. My cabin mates were great! Breanna, Megan, Bree, Ashley, Courtney, Chelsea, Alli, Lia and our fearless leader Katie. I love them all. I got to meet Leslie and she helped me fall in love with Liberty University. Our lizard Geico keeps us together and since Breanna and I tortured her all week we have friendship bracelets that signaled a truce. Tamara and I are convinced that we will make it to Liberty University some how some way. We want to be roomies! I spent a lot of time with Keira and Shannon and pretending to hook them up with hot Christian boys! They were kind of mad but it was super fun. And of course I can't forget Katie. We talk about everything and she treats me more like a Shepherd then just a sheep. Bean and cheese burritos and losing our suitcases. I know God taught us so much this week!

Our week was filled with an endless amount of pranks. Breanna and I are so sneaky. Here is a list of the thing we did and the things we took.

• Leslie's entire suitcase except for a pair of shoes, her sleeping bag, and pillow. Then her make up bag, perfume and lotion.
• Keira's sleeping bag, cell phone, laptop and power cord.
• Shannon's rainbows, wallet, cell phone, charger, and tylenol
• Megan's cell phone
• We put baby oil on Keira's cabin door
• We put pinecones in Leslie's bed and wrote "Silly Silly Leslie," "You are so naive," and "You mess with the bull, you get the horns" in shaving cream on Leslie's cabin mirror
• We put a fake lizard under Katie's pillow

After all these things the only payback we got was

• getting our cabin silly stringed
• having our sleeping bags and blankets hung on a tree and
• finding pinecones in our pillowcases

We are so good. Thats all I have to say. It was fun and I'm sure people got mad and were annoyed but it was a blast for us.

I loved getting bean burritos, sitting by the fire and singing worship songs, dancing like crazy during the Exodus concert, canoeing to slide rock and not falling and watching the sunrise over the mountains surrounding hume lake.

I've never felt this way before. I don't have a camp high but I have information; I have knowledge; I have examples. I have the stuff that other people will never know and I am blessed. Two amazing girls accepted Christ this week without the emotional appeal, simply because they KNEW that Christ is the only way. Their names were written in the book of life and at the end of this life we are going to be having a party in heaven together. Six girls were baptized in hume lake. I am so jealous. What an amazing place to show everyone the transformation that has happened in your heart.

I learned that things of this world are just stuff. Katie and I lost our suitcases on the way home and my first reaction was to cry and be so upset that I didn't have my clothes. Over the next few days I told God that it didn't matter, it was just stuff. I didn't need it because I needed to rely on Him for everything I have. Someone came up to me and told me that I can't take any of it with me and that is so true! After Katie and I both gave the situation to God and told him "your will be done" our suitcases showed up. They are in Flagstaff and we get them back on Friday. Our God is still of miracles and he never ceases to amaze me.

Life doesn't always work out the way you want it to, but God is steering my ship and that's all that matters.

Debatement (yep I just made that a word)

On wednesday Keira and I were debating a very interesting topic. Not debating like screaming and yelling, cause i can do that, but debating God stuff which is my favorite. the question is...

how can we have free will and God still be in control of everything? Does not control limit free will?

chew on that for a bit.

after a while of talking in circles i have come to the conclusion that it is one of the greatest mysteries of this earth.

Definitely going to have to take that one up with the big man up stairs.

peace, love, happiness!
T

Long, Long, Long Day

I attempted to wake up early today to start packing and getting ready for hume. yeah right! when you don't have a curfew, you stay out super late and wake up super late so I am still adjusting to that.
Then it was off to the cafe for five long hours. I ate lunch with Katie and Keira, laid on the floor and read a book about death (for one of Keira's classes at ASU) and made two whole drinks.
Small group was amazing tonight. I love the girls that I get to hang out with.
Rooted met for the first time tonight and boy was that a joy! Honestly I love it so much! I went to the dating class that was taught by the Sterbenzs (thats really hard to say) and I sat next to my new best friend Breanna. ha ha if i was only younger we could be better friends. oh gosh.
I really liked the dating class but it just stinks when you know what is right and everyone is telling you what is right but you really want to do what is wrong and a lot of times more fun.
As I gained and grew friendships today, I have to let go of other ones. I want to change people's lives and help them understand but thats not my job, that's Christ's job.
I was put on this earth to encourage others to know Christ, not attempt to transform people's lives while putting my own spiritual well being in jeopardy.
Life sucks sometimes but as I learned in 1 Peter, I will continue to live a life of hope because I have eternal salvation.
And that is something to be grateful for.

peace and love!
t

Finally Here!

So for the last month or so I have been debating whether or not I should get a blog and after our adventure last night, I was convinced.

As of Sunday, Merge (aka Cornerstone's High School Group) has a new youth pastor. His name is Nathan Maples. He spoke on Sunday during the high school service and I don't know about anyone else but I really like him. I feel like he will be a perfect fit for our youth group.

In order to welcome him into our crazy church, a bunch of girls and I went to his house (which is SO far) and we streamered and side-walk chalked it. It was so much fun! Since we cannot drive away fast enough and Katie is a bad liar (which is a good thing) we got caught and ended up going to Sonic with Breanna.

I learned a few things from last night...
1. I can side-walk chalk really fast
2. Ocean Water is delicious
3. I love high school group so much and I don't know what I am going to do without it next year
4. Attitude is everything!

peace!