some things just have to be forced

I am a performer and a perfectionist at heart.

I don't do things unless I am absolutely sure that I will be good at them.

How's that for prideful?

Failure makes me feel useless, insecure, incompetent and weak and to be honest who really likes to feel that way?!

BUT, I know that being a performer and a perfectionist hinders me in so many ways. So I'm stepping outside of my box a little bit.

I've decided today to take up photography. Nothing too fancy, nothing professional but in my free time (yeah right!) I want to learn the ins and outs of it. In the beginning it will probably be ugly and I'll probably be mad that I can't get it right and I might even cry a little bit but I'm ready to throw off all the things that hinder me.

I am not saying this necessarily for accountability, although that would be nice, but for me to mark this journey of refinement in this area of my life. Refinement is hard but I figure I might as well learn how to do something new because of it.